Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Enjoy the Silence

When I was very young I used to be afraid all the time. I don't know why that is. I don't remember much of anything from my childhood, for whatever reason, but my memories of fear in my younger years have never left me. I had many night terrors. I was afraid of the dark. I was afraid of the silent creaking house. I was always afraid of being alone. I always felt alone. I had horrible dreams of terrible things from endings of the world to demons terrorizing me. Now at my older age I wonder if it was in fact demons terrorizing me in the spiritual realm. I may never know. But the reason is irrelevant. What matters is the lesson I see now. You see, things have changed.

I have changed.

Or maybe it's better if I say that I have been changed. God has taken away my sins and forgiven them, and with them he has taken the fear I once harbored. Maybe not the simple fears, but the deep terrible ones. I am no longer afraid. I think about this often. I try to think of what I fear now, and i think the only thing I fear presently is rejection, and who has no fear of rejection? I don't know what brought all these thoughts on. Maybe it was a all too familiar chill I got last night. It was like a shadow of the fear that once plagued me. It was like my demon was still lurking there but had hit a brick wall. My only conclusion is that that wall was the blood of Jesus. Now don't take me for one who is all crazy about the spiritual realm. I don't profess to know much of anything, if anything at all about it, but I do believe there is a battle going on. One thing I am sure of now is that I am no longer afraid of the dark. I'm not afraid of the silence.
Now... I enjoy it.
Now... I welcome it.
Now... I feel God in it.

I love silence. I love to hear nothing when I stop the typing of this little letter. I want more. I suppose the only reason I wrote this is because of how peculiar I found that I now enjoy the thing I once feared. I guess I will encourage everyone to cease fearing the silence and the darkness of the night. Simply because they have the appearance of evil does not make them so. They are God's, and God is in them. God is in us. I pray we do not forget that.